Feeling The heat

Captains Blog 1319 - 1319 • Published 10 Jun 2009 11:42 0 Comments

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Hot enough for you?

I"m telling you, if this keeps up I"ll have to consider taking off my vest.

It"s not something I do lightly - I was once turned down as the new James Bond because I refused to remove my semmitt for a love scene with Ursula Andress. After all, I had my position as Vice Chairman of the Cessnock Tiddleywinks and Carpet Bowls Society to consider. They could be a vicious bunch when office bearers failed to observe the proprieties.

I"m not one for divesting my garments at the merest blink of sunshine. I put off hauling out the shorts - a bit like the ones often worn by Eric Morecambe on telly - while I balk at the prospect of baring my chest.

I"ve got legs like elevenpence marked on a bucket, you see, and I"ve got muscles like diamonds - hard to find.

But, I"m telling you, it grew so hot during my recent two weeks off that I almost threw caution and modesty to the wind. (I"ve not been here for two weeks, didn"t you notice? No? Okay then.)

Thankfully, for the sake of innocent by-standers, I resisted the temptation to get the skin out, the result of which is that my face, my hands and the lower parts of my arms are brown while the rest of me is as white as a BNP clambake. And like a BNP clambake, it"s not a pretty sight. When stripped it looks as if someone"s stuck another head and arms onto a dead fish.

However, they say the weather is to cool tomorrow, so that"ll be something. The cupboard I call an office here in Chronicle HQ resembles a sauna - and that"s with the window open and my fan blowing (she"s a nice old dear but not a lot of puff).

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